


OC TOBER 2020

by janemee



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 14,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26779921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janemee/pseuds/janemee
Comments: 30
Kudos: 3





	1. Prompt: Beginnings

**Beginnings**

The moon is out, and her breath catches with every step she takes. She’s carrying her shoes, and her sock feet are creaking slowly down the hardwood stairs. She’s 14, and one day, she’ll be able to say she’s done this hundreds of times, but tonight marks the first time she’s sneaking out.

She’s going to the skate park, she doesn’t have a board yet, but she’s meeting a friend there that’s bringing his extra penny board. She reaches the front porch, finally, and laces her boots. A shaky breath, she pulls them tight, and starts to walk. It’s only a couple blocks. 

Next time, she should bring a jacket, and maybe a flashlight? The sky is too dark, even with the moon.

“Aaron!” she calls from the gate leading into the park, and her favorite flash of black hair pokes reliably up from the half-pipe. He looks towards her, probably not seeing much as his board sinks down again.

“Riley!” he says once he’s on solid ground, unclipping his helmet and plopping down next to her. “You made it!”

“Yep. I’ve officially snuck out of my house once.”

“Welcome to the club, here’s your certificate.” He holds out a mocking hand, she shakes it with a grin.

“Why it's an honor, Aaron.”

“So, are we gonna skate today? Or did you come here just to watch?”

Her stomach twists with nerves. “I think we can try some skating.”


	2. Prompt: Growl

**Growl**

She leaps out her window onto the roof, and shimmies down the drain pipe. It’s quicker this way, less of a hassle, and she won’t get caught on the stairs. She’s in a full blown sprint, she has to get to the park before Aaron does. Stupid boy made a bet that he could do a handflip. He can’t, of course, but she wants to see it. 

The gate at the park is locked, and she can’t see Aaron. Instead, many taller forms stand in the middle of the half pipe. The group is tightly huddled around something, and she wanders along the fenceline, straining her neck to see what they’re looking at. 

Eventually, a whisper erupts from one of the forms, and someone’s head snaps around to look directly at her. 

“Hey!”

And everything inside of her tells her to run, quick feet in the soft grass as her heart pounds in her ears.

Rough hands grab her collar, and she spins to see an angry face in the moonlight. A few tense breaths between them, and then he relaxes a little, smiling.

“Oh, hey. I’ve seen you around with that kid Aaron. You’re Ronnie, right?”

“Actually it’s Riley.”

“Yeah, Ronnie.” He lets go, awkwardly trying to right her shirt with a weird pat on the shoulder. “Anyway, my name’s Rumble. Aaron left about half an hour ago, the skate park is ours for the night.”

“The skate park is whose, exactly?” Her heart is still racing, but she hopes he can’t see her shaking.

“Me and my group, the growlers. We practice a couple nights a month, and we need the park to be empty to do so.”

“Y’all sound like douches.”

“Aw, that hurts my feelings, Ronnie,” His smile is teasing, and he licks his lips. “and here I was about to give you an invite.”

“Invite me again next time. I’ll see you.”

He laughs his approval, and tips his cap. She picks up her board, and goes back into the night.


	3. Prompt: Light

**Light.**

The Growlers know how to deal with scrapes and cuts. More than a few times, Evan has given himself a minor concussion. There’s quite a robust first aid kit in the cabin they use as a base, and they get along pretty well for the most part. One thing they have not handled thus far, though, is a hypochondriac. 

Ronnie is laying on one of the couches, a tight ball of limbs amidst too many blankets, and they are shaking. Rumble has left a cup of water and some toast on the coffee table, but he’s been in the kitchen puttering around for a while. Ronnie can’t gather the strength to call him, and they would probably feel guilty for doing so anyway, so they sit up a little and sip some water, trying to convince themself they don’t need another blanket, trying to control their shivering.

“How ya doing, kid?” When Rumble comes back into the room he brings all the sunlight with him. 

They sit up a little bit “I’m dying.” they offer weakly. Rumble laughs, his smile is so bright, they are proud of it.

“You’re not dying, it’s a flu. You’ve got a fever and a cough, you’ll be okay in a few days, tops.”

  
“I’m DYING!!.” they fling a dramatic hand in his direction, and he catches it, pulling it to his lips for a quick kiss, and Ronnie hopes the fever hides their blush.

“What will I do without you? My best Ronnie girl at my side?”

“I can’t hear you, I’m going into the light.” Their feeble laugh turns into a cough, and Rumble puts a strong hand behind their back, pushing them to sit up more, rubbing soft circles and whispering comfort.

They’re both quiet for a while, sitting and listening to Ronnie’s pathetic sniffles. Then, they speak.

“What if I don’t see it?”

“See what, Honey?”

“The light, at the end of the tunnel, you know? What if… there just wasn’t anything?”

He seems to think on that for a moment, sitting with his forearms on his knees, hands clasped together. Almost prayerful.

“Wouldn’t that almost be better?”

“What do you mean?” 

“Well,” he starts, scratching the scruff on his neck. “I think it’d be nice if there wasn’t an afterlife. Aren’t you tired of doin’ shit? Bein’ here and having all this to deal with?”

“You would give up heaven for a nap in the dirt?”

“Listen, Ronnie, for all God’s given me down here, I think I’m allowed to ask for a little R&R.”

Their head spins, contemplating demons and angels as well as their stomach and aching body is too much, they sink back into their pillows and roll towards the back of the couch.

“R&R. That's us.” they laugh pathetically again, but their coughing isn’t as bad this time.

“Yeah it is, babe.” He’s standing to exit the room again, and Ronnie feels fear grip them all of a sudden.

“Wait!” 

He turns back. “Yeah?”

They want to say they love him, wants to ask if he’ll stay, rub their back, tell them stories, sing to them, watch a movie, take them somewhere where they can be alone without the rest of the gang. They know it’s too much, and the world melts with sickness and medicine and rot as all they can say is

“Are you sure I’m not gonna die?”

“See you when you wake up, Ronnie.”

And everything is dark again.


	4. Prompt: Trouble

**Trouble.**

  
  


Rumble and Evan are alone today, by some combination of school, work, and busy schedules, the rest of the Growlers are nowhere to be seen. They both wake up early enough, but take a few hours to putter around, slowly padding through the kitchen, lazily tossing on old t-shirts from the floor. Just the state of the cabin depresses Rumble. He needs to get out. 

“Hey, wanna go to a theme park?”

Evan’s excitement is visible. “Which one?”

“You tell me, I’ll drive.”

Evan bounces in the passenger's seat of that old red truck for the next two hours, excitedly explaining the best strategy to hit all the rollercoasters in the park. When they pull into the parking lot, Rumble has begun to regret being born, but he just pulls his cap tighter on his head and shoves a few crumpled bills through the plexiglass to the tired woman on the other side. Evan has been like this as long as he can remember, fixating on the most random things, just a big ol’ ball of energy. He knows the only way to get it over with is to ride it out. With a deep breath, he settles himself.

“Here we go.”

The next few hours are a whirlwind, Rumble isn’t meant for this shit, he’s too old for whirlin’ and divin’ and swoopin’ upside down. Evan’s unhinged laugh makes everything worth it, and he pulls him by the hand through long line after long line, until Rumble demands they find a spot to eat. 

Armed with two hotdogs, two lemonades, and the same forced smile he’s had all day, he finally sits on a sticky bench beside a still-laughing Evan.

“Oh fuck that was awesome, thanks dude, I needed this.”

Rumble looks at his brother, simply smiling in the sunshine. He wonders what is going through his mind, what it must be like to have something you want, something you love, so deeply it overtakes everything else.

“Yeah, you’re welcome. I guess sometimes it pays to indulge your inner child.”

There are mostly kids here, all of a sudden he’s overwhelmed by the sight of family after family, everyone having fun and smiling together, while he sits here with his younger brother on a shitty park bench. Two grown men in full leather eating hot dogs. They must look like creeps.

Evan pipes up after a little bit. “Do you ever think about having kids?”

“I dunno.” Hey, at least he’s being honest. “Our town ain’t too friendly to little ones, I would want somewhere with better schools. Besides, I haven’t really met anyone I would consider a good enough partner for that.”

“You’ve got Ronnie, She’s head over heels for you, probably follow you down to Arkansas or wherever you end up.”

“It's they. And Ronnie’s young. I’m just messing around, really. Not tied down or anything.”

Evan seems taken aback by that, he almost leans away from Rumble.

“What are we then, If not tying you down? What about the gang? What about me?”

“I mean, it’s like a roller coaster, right? You have your ups and downs and then eventually you have to get off the ride.”

“Man, fuck you.”

“Sounds like you don’t wanna have a ride home.” He’s hoping he can salvage something with a bad joke.

“What I wanted was a good fucking brother and good chill day.”

“Now don’t go saying I ruined the whole day, We both knew I was bound to leave sometime.”

“But we were supposed to leave together! As brothers! With, with like a plan and shit! An adventure, you and me!”

“And that can still happen! It’s just, I’m just acknowledging the possibility that I might set out on my own at some point.”

“Would you even feel a little bit guilty?”

“I honestly couldn’t say.”

Evan is silent on the ride home, and even turns off the radio when Rumble tries to play something to ease the tension. The cabin is still empty when they get back, and Evan goes straight to his room. 

Rumble thinks about getting out after him, doing the thing their dad used to do after a long night of drinking and acting wrong, the foot-of-the-bed sit and sigh, with a long meaningful monologue said directly to the taupe wall, but it’s not worth it, not this time. He turns the keys in the ignition again, and backs out of the driveway. Maybe Ronnie will have a way to make him forget all of this. 


	5. Prompt: Forget

Forget

Ronnie didn’t go to their high school graduation. Instead, they spent the weekend with Rumble, driving around in his old pickup truck and playing him songs on their new guitar. They knew Aaron would be mad, and they didn’t even want to know what their parents would think, so they turned off their phone, coming back to their house late Monday night, and slipping through their front door silently as they have many times before.

They were not expecting their parents and Aaron in the living room, crossed arms and serious faces.

“What is this, an intervention?”

“Care to join us?” Aaron spoke first, unusual, but they guess their mom and dad already know how things like this always go, so they let him take the lead.

“Not really.” But they’re already slumping into the green chair across from the couch.

“Ronnie,” Their dad starts with a sigh, but their mom pulls him back with a gentle hand on his arm.

A tense moment passes as no one knows what to say.

“Aaron, I get the sense that you’re the one who’s most pissed off at me. Wanna take a smoke break?”

And they’re back in the cool night air, free as they can be for now, wishing that Rumble’s truck was still here, waiting to take them away.

“We’re all just… worried, I guess.” Aaron has always been a wimp, too cowardly to even say what he thinks without platitudes. Every sentence has a ‘just’ or ‘i guess’ or ‘you know? If that makes sense.’ ugh. Gag.

“I don’t want y’all to be worried.”

“Then why have you blown everything off? You can tell me you don’t care anymore until you’re blue in the face, but I know you graduated with honors. I saw your transcripts too, got ‘em from the dean. You’re still smart, you’re still driven. You could do so much!”

“I don’t want to! Don’t make this into some disney movie where you help me make a plan and talk to my parents. I don’t want college, I don’t want a normal job, I don’t want to be in Tennessee forever--”

“What the hell do you want, Ronnie? To skate for a living? To become a fucking dealer? I remember when we made those 10 year plans back in middle school, we were gonna be so good! I would go to school for art and you would get your MBA and we would be partners.”

“If you think you’re still the same person as you were in middle school, you’re wrong for one and two, pathetic. Lord knows that’s not who I am anymore.”

“Look, Ronnie, you can change your name, and your pronouns, you can shave your head and run around with the bad boys of the town, but like, I know you. I see the little girl I knew in there. I see you, and I won’t forget.”

He flicks his cigarette onto the sidewalk, and starts to walk down the street, in the opposite direction from his house.

“Say goodbye to your parents for me.”

“You’re walking the wrong way!” Their throat feels tight and hot, and their voice sticks weirdly in their throat.

Aaron holds up a middle finger and keeps walking.


	6. Prompt: Kiss

Kiss.

Ronnie’s first kiss was Aaron. It was weird and wet and a product of too much excitement after she had executed the perfect sigma flip on the half pipe. As her board crashed into the fence, and she threw off her helmet in victory, she looked for her favorite flash of black hair, and he was already running towards her, catching her in the biggest, strongest hug, It seemed right in that moment, all alight and smiley, to kiss him. It lasted like 5 seconds, but it was enough that they both knew it was strange. They talked about it the next day at school, agreed that they were better friends, and that it was probably not the best kiss anyway. They didn’t really mind it, it was for the best.

The other times Ronnie kissed someone, boys, girls, whoever, they were looking for something. Attention, revenge, a distraction, a favor. Nothing ever felt organic like it did that first time, when the entire universe seemed to align and come into the singular moment, where it made sense to kiss, to be together.

Then, they met Rumble. Everything fell into place. Being with him was easy, long slow days turned into darks nights skating under the stars fell into lazy mornings and speeding down backroads. He led them through life the way one leads a ballroom dance, waltzing through the weeks and months armed only with a set of keys and an old red-letter bible.

It was like he fell out of the sky for them, made to answer every question, made to be there for them.

There he was, and answer he did.

They spent forever talking, in their yard, in the cabin, in his truck, at the skatepark. It’s more than skating when they’re with him, they see the way he cares for it, the way it’s more than fun, it’s his life. Everything Rumble does feels like it’s his life. He’s one of the only people Ronnie has ever met who’s actually living.

They kiss so many times, too many to count, over and over they feel the same tingle down their spine. Over, Over, every day and each new time, Ronnie thinks about how lucky they are, how heavenly Rumble is, how perfect it all could be.


	7. Prompt: Car

**Car.**

Rumble checks his phone, he’s getting a call from an unknown number. He’s feeling charitable today, so he answers.

“Hello?”

“Hey babe!” Ronnie’s voice is high and hushed, “It’s me! Uh, I need a little help. Wanna pull a Ferris Bueller?”

“Huh? Ronnie? You’re talking too fast.”

“Shit. Okay. Play with me.”

“Huh? Baby?”

“Yeah dad, Mr. Edwards needs you to come to the school.”

_ Oh. Ferris Bueller. The one with that kid with the cool car. _

“What did you do this time?”

“I got in a fight.”

“I’ll start over now, be there in a few.”

He arrives at the school with all the solemnity due, and somehow Ronnie convinces the dean to let them walk out to the car alone. They look like shit, but they’re all smiles underneath their bloody nose and black eye.

“Hiya, Rumble!”

“Hey kid.” He sighs as he takes them in, and claps a hand on their shoulder to keep them at arm’s length for as long as Mr. Edwards is watching. “Hop in the backseat and I’ll patch ya up.”

“Oh I don’t need all that! We can just go home now.”

“Nope. We are sitting our asses here until you are bandaged and we have a talk.”

Ronnie gulps hard, and watches Rumble lay out gauze and tape while pulling a kerchief from his pocket and pouring from his water bottle onto it.

“Now. Start from the beginning. What made you act so stupid?”

“I wasn’t being stupid! I was being… proactive.”

“Is that what they call it now? Proactive?”

“I mean, this girl was bothering me, has been for a few days, and I wanted to avoid any future problems. So..”

“Ronnie, honey I don’t think that’s how this works. You can’t just punch everyone until they’re all scared of you.”

“I don’t want them to be scared of me, I want them to leave me alone! OW!” They flinch as he touches a tender bruise on their hairline.

“Sorry. I just-- can’t you think of a better way to get left alone?”

“I mean… fighting works.”

“God you’re stupid.”

“Don’t call me that! I just… tried something, I was being proactive.”

“Right. Well, your proactive ass shouldn’t call me if this happens again, you can’t hide all this from your parents.”

“Oh but I could though! We could go back to your house, I could say I’m staying over at Aaron’s, and we wouldn’t have to deal with it!”

“No.”

“Please?”

“Nope. We’re dropping you off.”

“Will you at least buy me food on the way?”

And their little sullen stare is too much for him to resist.

“Sure, honey. What do you want?”


	8. Prompt: Future

**Future.**

Ronnie’s feeling low. It’s hot, school’s out for summer, and they’re tired of being alone at home and only seeing the gas station attendant. Rumble’s been offline for almost a week, he said he was gonna go tour some business in Arkansas, talk about deals or something, they didn’t really understand. Still, they decide to go to the cabin, maybe a couple of the boys are around, maybe one of them will be up to doing something. 

“Hello?” they call as they enter, “Anybody home?”

No one answers, but the noise of the door does cause some stirring in the living room. Evan is standing there, looking guilty, a cigarette in between his fingers. 

“Oh, hey Ronnie.”

“Hey, Evan. How’s it going?”

“I mean, it’s going. I’m bone-tired, working 12 hour days mostly.”

“Oof. I feel ya, gotta get your check, right?”

“Yeah. Gotta pay for all this shit, since Rumble hasn’t done anything.”

They really were trying to be polite, but this small talk obviously has a point, and if Evan wants to fight, they’ll square up.

“Rumble said he was scouting out something in Arkansas. We should have something lined up soon.”

“We?”

“I mean we talked about moving down together, I was gonna start applying to a few retail jobs..”

“You think you’re still gonna be together when Summer is over?”

“I-” they’re genuinely stunned. “How could you say that?”

“Look, Ronnie. You’re not permanent. You’re not family. He’s gonna get bored of you, your constant questions, and he’s gonna leave. He’ll see that I’m right one day, that I have the business sense in the family. He’s gonna realize that his art and the pastor stuff will get him nowhere, and that he’s not cut out for a nine to five. And then, he’ll come running back to me, begging to follow my plans, step one of which is getting rid of you.”

Hot tears prick at their eyes, they feel so stupid, so small.

“Why do you hate me?”

“I don’t hate you, kid,” He pulls on a baseball cap, scrubbing their head condescendingly. “I just know you’re soft, not cut out for this.”

He leaves, the heavy oak door closes with a loud thud. Ronnie is alone with their thoughts, their doubts, their tears. 


	9. Prompt: Waiting

**Waiting**

It is here that Ronnie learned to hate hospitals. Usually, they were patient, good at sitting still, they liked quiet, cleanliness, schedules. Now, everything feels too still, the air is dry and hot, and no one is giving them the information they need. 

“Yeah, his name is Rumble Sampson?” they ask again of the nurse at the front desk.

“Unless you’re family I can’t disclose information.”

“I’m his fiance?” they lie, quickly holding up their hand, hoping one of their rings looks believable.

“Sorry, hon.” She smiles like a high school bully. 

_ Fuck. Has any nurse felt any empathy in their life? _

They call Evan again. No answer. They call Aaron. No answer.

_ You’ve done this to yourself, you’ve pushed everyone away, no one is coming to help, no one cares anymore. He was everything, he was my person, he was, he was… he is? God I hope he’s alive.  _

This whole day has been so strange already, so sad. They got the call, and they knew, somehow, that it was bad. No one is telling them anything, exactly how bad it is. They’ve been alternating between praying, crying, and trying to convince themself that they’re overreacting.

_ God dammit why is no one saying anything? _

_ You did this to yourself. All you have to do is wait.  _


	10. Prompt: Sermon

**Sermon.**

Rumble dies sometime in the early morning. It kills Ronnie that they were curled up in a fucking hospital chair instead of in the room with him. Everything condenses to a singular, droning hum for the next week, as the world swirls around them with plans, prayers, fundraisers, remembrances. How the fuck is anyone acting normal?

They begin to begrudge the world. The way couples are still going to lunch, anyone is still smiling, the way shitty teens are still at the skatepark. They want to stand in the middle of every street and scream until someone notices. They want to ask if anyone understands what this means, what he meant to them, what they feel now and how love can never be alive again. They want everyone to know how they feel, but they burst into tears every time someone looks at them.

They are a contradiction. They long for the connection they had back, but everything is fading, fast. How do you live as half of yourself? How do you go about finding someone else? Even if you don’t want to replace what you lost, how can you talk to anyone else? You’re not whole, not even a person, not real.

“Well,” Their mother says one morning as she tries to open the blinds, handing them a bottle of water, “you may not see it now, but this is a blessing. Now you can go to school, if you take summer courses, you can probably graduate on time with Aaron!”

Their father tries to talk to them too, later, after Evan stops by to drop off some of Rumble’s jewelry. He doesn’t want to give it to Ronnie, and tells them with tears in his eyes, “I know you loved him, I know you did. He wasn’t good for you. As much as that hurts to hear now, I hope you’re listening. I hope you hear me. I hope you realize it for yourself too soon.”

The funeral is awful, worse that they have to go sober. Ronnie’s parents drive, and they look out of place among the group of leather-clad youngsters in the wooden pews. Ronnie keeps their head up, no tears this time. They’ve cried all they need to. This is for appearances. They are wearing a dress and heels, pearls, and Rumble’s pocket watch. They stare at Evan as he stumbles over the worst fucking eulogy, pandering to an audience that isn’t there, making Rumble some kind of a saint, ignoring who he really was.

“Can I say a few words?” It’s a challenge, and Evan clenches his jaw as he looks at them with a glare that could kill.

“Of course.” He smiles too much like Rumble, They stifle a shudder as they step up to the pulpit and open their Bible. 

The speech they give is rushed, they were never one for sermons. If you asked them to repeat it they wouldn’t be able to. But they have the ending verse in mind, and they have from the start. It’s one they know by heart, one they can quote until they’re blue in the face.

**If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.**

Evan glares even more after that. They both know what he did. 


	11. Prompt: Out

**Out.**

“You know you can’t stay here, right? Evan’s fucking pissed at you, he’s gonna change everything, it’s all gonna be different now.”

God bless the Growlers, they mean well, Ronnie’s sure.

“I have to stay, Leo. I owe it to Rumble.”

“Not to be a dick, but wouldn’t Rumble want better than this for you? Wasn’t that the point of Arkansas? To find you both normal jobs? Keep you outta this shit?”

“Maybe. But I’m a big boy, I can handle myself. Besides,” They wink and put on a loud whisper.

“Rumble ain’t here to stop me.”

And, to Ronnie’s credit, they stick it out longer than they should have, taking way more shit than everyone else and swallowing every insult Evan threw at them for months. They moved out of the cabin, and back into the mess that is their parent’s house. They tried, they waited, they saved and scrounged and worked to get out, get a new place, to feel safe again, to be part of the team.

One night, it all breaks. Evan brings a group out to the woods, and they encircle Ronnie on their bikes.

“What the fuck, Rumble?” they dismount and take off their helmet, now in the middle of a dangerous situation, feeling small and scared.

“What did you just call me?” He keeps his helmet on, and has his hands in his pockets.

_Shit._

“Look, I didn’t mean it it was obviously a mistake just--”

“No, Ronnie, that’s the problem. You can’t handle that I’m not him, that I’m different.”

“My problem is that you left him alone, you let him get shot, you saw him die, and you did nothing!”

 **  
  
  
**"Dumb fuck had a death wish, who was I not to oblige?"

"What? Evan, he was your brother." _He's speaking like someone from a TV show. Jesus, tell me this isn't how it all ends, tell me I'm not here for dramatic tension, tell me I can still help him._

"Only in name, we both know he prioritized everyone else more than me."

"He loved you."

"He might have, but he only ever thought about you." 

_Isn't the point of a gang to be a family?_

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you,” He takes a step towards them, “to get out and never come back.”

His hands come out of his pockets, a flash of gold, then black. Ringing, stinging, painful, black.


	12. Prompt: Forest

**Forest.**

They never even entertained the idea of calling Aaron. Once they wake up in the forest, bloody and bruised, they get on their bike and go. They got the message, Ronnie has officially overstayed their welcome with the growlers.

They just… drive. They take highway 26 for hours until they have to stop and get gas. They buy coffee, cigarettes and band-aids, no doubt shocking the poor cashier, and nurse their headache for a few hours. Then, it's back on the road.

They ride faster, longer, not taking time to wipe their tears. They just have to get somewhere safe, somewhere far away.

They don’t exit until the sky is dark, they’re blinded from the tired steady pain that’s been plaguing them all day. They spread their jacket on the forest floor, and slowly lay down, everything popping as they do. Bone tired, joints aching, alone, cold, abandoned. They try to sleep as the forest surrounds them, alone with the trees for the second night in a row. This time, they hope, they are safe. 


	13. Prompt: Lasts

Lasts.

Rumble falls, his form all too heavy. Somewhere deep in his mind, he knows. This is the one, this is it. This is something he’ll never recover from. He’s going to die.

It’s comforting, and he lets out a long breath as he hits the hard ground. In movies, he would be angry, or perhaps mournful. His last thoughts should be spent wishing Evan was never born, thinking about Ronnie, feeling anger and hate and love and regret.

But now, he feels at peace, in some weird and fucked up way. He’ll leave his grief to those that survive him, he just wants to go home.

One last prayer, and as sirens wail in the distance, he smiles.


	14. Prompt: Safety

**Safety.**

Ronnie wakes to birdsong, a headache, and a sore ass. 8 hours on a bike will do that to ya. As they sit up, blinking to adjust to their surroundings, they hear crunching growing closer. 

Out of habit, they freeze, if it’s a cop, they’re screwed. If it’s a bear, they’re willing to take a chance. 

The sounds grow louder, and Ronnie flattens themself to the ground, hoping for some kind of camouflage.

It’s a young girl, and her blonde head pokes out from a tree as she yells:

“Look Hollis! A biker! Can we keep ‘em?”

The next few minutes are a whirlwind of questions. About Ronnie, about their bike, about why the fuck they slept in the forest when the amnesty lodge was right there??!

Oh yeah, they learn a lot about ‘the lodge’ in a very short amount of time, and many other things about this town. People are weird here, and they care a lot. It seems that Kepler prides itself on knowing everything about everyone.

The girl that Ronnie met first this morning is named Bee, and they meet a whole crowd of similarly black and yellow clad teens who call themselves the hornets.

It’s adorable, it warms their heart a little to know that wherever they are the weird ones will always find each other, and kids will always love using stunts as a way to mess around.

Bee and Bow remind Ronnie of themself and Aaron, two friends with shared interests that already have their own language of in-jokes and references. They hope they never split up, never have the same fights that ended what they had with Aaron.

There’s Keith, a salty motherfucker that Ronnie can tell will be a piece of work, but they’re instantly fond of him. He has a sort of quiet way about him, something under the surface that they hope to learn more about.

Then, there’s Hollis, tall, tan and lanky as all get out. They’re the ones that offer Ronnie a hand to get out of the dirt, who asks their name and pronouns, the first smile they see in this weird new place. While they let Bee and Bow take the lead on questions as they all walk to the lodge, they sit across the table from Ronnie for hours, and just let them talk.

Ronnie’s hesitant to share too much, outside of the fact that they were in Tennessee, aren’t anymore, and have next to no plans. Hollis smiles all the same, and seems to really soak in their words. They act like it’s the most natural thing in the world, to find beat-up strangers in the forest. And for all Ronnie can tell, it is. The second they walk into the lodge, Hollis nods to a stern woman in the corner and returns with a med kit and the best fucking hot chocolate. 

It’s insane, it’s stupid, it’s so,  _ so _ bizzare. 

So when Bee asks again “Can we  _ please _ keep this one?”

And Hollis says “How ‘bout it, kid?’

They say yes, with their entire heart. 


	15. Prompt: Good Day

**Good day**

If Ronnie was smart, they wouldn’t have said yes to all of this. They probably aren’t ready for another group this soon, to be a part of something like this again. I mean sure, God-willing, the hornets are not as much of a shitshow as the growlers were but, it takes something out of you to be committed to something, right? To love, to enjoy anything?

They should have kept moving, highway 26 could take you all the way to the East coast. They could have seen the city. Any city, a real, actual, bustling city where they could have been invisible.

Instead, they’re here, wherever the fuck Kepler, West Virginia is, sitting across from one of the most amazing people they’ve ever met. It’s stupid, and almost unfair, shouldn’t they be allowed some loneliness after all of this?

Maybe they’ve already been lonely too long.

Being with Hollis, and all the hornets really, for the next two weeks is joyous. It’s one of the best things they’ve ever felt. It’s familiar, like building old muscle, and it feels like home.

Hollis calls this the ‘trial period.’ there’s rules and shit about when they can be at the bar, when they need to go home, when they can wear the jacket, and all of that. Ronnie pays attention only because they know what it means to them. This is their turf, their matching jackets, their schedule, so they’ll respect it. It’s dumb, but it’s endearing.

Hollis is special. More than in a ‘we’re both non-binary’ or ‘we both lead miserable crews of queer fuckers’ or ‘probably traumatized’ way. Hollis understands something fundamental about them. And even if they weren’t set on not falling in love again, they would be in  _ something  _ with them. Hollis is just that type.

Maybe it’s their sense of humor. The way they call them Veronica, Ronald, or Ronbert in order to make a situation seem serious. Maybe it's the late nights that they spend teaching Ronnie things they already know about the stars.

“I was a Boy Scout, you know.”

“So was I.” Ronnie winks.

“No way!”

“Well, I was a Venture Scout, same difference.”

“Beg to differ, Ronnie-cakes! Boy Scouts are the superior breed.”

“Well if you insist.”

“I do.”

Maybe it’s their passion for everything. They live for more than duty, more than familial obligation, more than themselves. Hollis lives for the world, to drink it in, to give back. 

The first night Ronnie spends in the bar, Hollis cries. It’s an initiation thing they’ve made up and done half a dozen times before but they can’t make it through this one. Bee takes over, stumbling over most of the stupid poem and clumsily handing Ronnie their hornet patch. Ronnie just smiles and takes it. Dumb fuckery like this makes them feel at home.

When Hollis comes back, Ronnie hugs them as they sit down on the couch.

“You good tough guy?”

“Yeah, just excited is all.”

“Now you’re the boss of me, right? You get off on that power?” They poke Hollis’ ribs, and they flinch a little.

“No, not that I just got overwhelmed. I feel like--”

_ Fuck. Don’t say love, don’t say partner, don’t say love…  _ Ronnie prays to whatever they have left.

“I feel like this can be really good for us. Both of us.”

They leave it at that. There will be time for love later, right?


	16. Prompt: Festival

**Festival.**

She’s dressed to the nines, red lips and furs, a paisley kerchief tied around long dark curls as she walks under the stone archway to Sylvain. She’s been going less and less often now, but today’s important. She hopes that Cielo will give her a break, that today can just be fun, they can be themselves without all the extra stuff they’ve had going on recently.

He’s the first person she sees when she passes through. Of course he’s there waiting, soft and warm, he pulls her into a hug with a soft whisper “baby girl.” She’s breathless as she smiles into his shoulder.

“Hi.”

“You’re late.” He purrs and runs a delicate hand over her neck.

“I know. I’m sorry. Let’s just get on with today, yeah?”

She takes his hand, and starts pulling him towards the center of town, where they’ll both be working for the next few hours. 

She had forgotten how much lighter it felt here. It smells like home, and her feet don’t feel as clumsy. She skims over the stone path like it’s water, airy and light on her feet. She’s back where she’s meant to be.

“Paz!” Someone calls from a distance, “Great to see you!” 

She smiles and gives a polite wave. Today is not about her.

As the festival starts, she lets out a deep breath.

_ You can be yourself today. You are home. _

Dancing and singing swallow them all, everything is swept in a haze. She passes from table to table handing out spells and casting with healing hands. When everything finally ends, long after dark, she relishes in bothering Cielo.

“Have you read chronicles of narnia?” 

“What? The kids books?

“Yeah, well like the movies.”

“Maybe the first one, why?”

“I feel like you give me Edmund vibes.”

“Is that the little betrayer?”

“Yeah.” She’s smiling, looking at his face as he laughs and licks his lips, pulling them into a kind of mean-spirited smirk.

“See look!” She points at him. “That’s a little bitchboy face if I ever saw one.”

He puts a strong arm around her waist, pulling her in closer, tucking a hand into her back pocket.

“Baby girl you did not just call me a bitchboy.”

He’s ridiculous, She looks up and bats her eyes as she cups his face with both hands

“I did. And I love you.”

Then he kisses her, hard, and she laughs into it.

“I love you, little minx.”

She won’t go home tonight. Sylvain needs her. Cielo needs her. She is happy to oblige.


	17. Prompt: School

**School.**

**“It’s a school for boys, mom.”**

**“And what about it?”**

**“I’m not a boy.”**

**“Nonsense.”**

  
  
  


_ “Mother, it says ‘the West Virginia Academy for young men!!” _

_ “And you will be in attendance as a young lady!!” _

Two fancy black cars with matching valets pull into the circle drive in front of the distinguished old building. Out of one steps a teen with a pink curly mullet. Out of the other, a girl with sleek black hair already in her uniform. They eye each other. 

_ This’ll be fun. _

They may look similar, having arrived in the same cars with similar pressure from their parents, but one is there for her superior achievement, while the other’s parents are simply begging to have them contained. 

This is Augustus Whitemire’s fifth school in three years. He has a thing about him where everyone views them as contrary and troublesome until proven otherwise, and they very rarely are wrong, it's just an unfair judgement to be put on them so harshly from the beginning. 

Lydia Ricci is quite the opposite. She has her eyes on Harvard, and this academy is one of the only ones with a robust enough college prep program within an ‘acceptable distance’ from her family’s mansion. 

“Don’t get in my way.” she hisses as she nearly hip checks the enby.

“Wasn’t planning on it, babe.” He replies, probably unwisely going by her judgmental scare.

_ It’s gonna be a long year. _


	18. Prompt: Trial

Trial.

Hollis hasn’t woken up naturally in a while. Usually, their countless alarms or a frantic text that needs their attention will pull them from their sleep. Today, they were the first one up, slowly blinking as the sunlight and birdsong flooded the room. This must be what it’s like when the bar is quiet, and they laugh a little as they observe everyone else still asleep in their various positions. Bow and Bee are huddled together in a tight ball, and Ronnie is a mess of limbs, legs splayed like a starfish, and one hand clenched in a fist around Dolly’s keys. They still don’t know what exactly to make of Ronnie, their trial period is over, but they still aren’t fully a part of the group. Keith doesn’t trust them, and while they’re willing to give them more of a chance than he is, they still can’t help but wonder if he’s right. From what Hollis knows, Ronnie’s been through some rough shit. They hope they’ll find a place here, maybe settle down a little. 

They stretch as they stand, and walk quietly to the kitchen. Hollis isn’t much of a cook, but it’s saturday, maybe a pancake breakfast is in order.

Miles away, Spoon has been up for hours. He needs to leave before his roommates wake, and he takes his ‘hiking’ gear, leaving a short note. Everything he’s wearing is uncomfy, his socks are too tall, and his shoes are a little too big, his sweater itches his neck. He needs new clothes, especially if he’s going to impress the Hornets, but those can wait, this outfit is good enough for the long walk, and he should be well covered against bugs and sticks in the forest. With a quick tug on the brim of his cap, he’s out the door, walking quickly outside, not making eye contact with the security cameras. 

He’s been planning for more than a week, how to make the hornets let him into the gang. He first noticed them while he was looking for bugs in the woods. There was an abandoned half-pipe and some old wooden ramps, and he wanted to learn more. He asked someone at the academy, and found out that the hornets don’t usually hang out on his end of town anymore, but they are a skater gang that gets into trouble around the main Kepler area. 

He can’t skate well, or drive, but he knows that there’s at least one of them who manages their social media. He’s seen some blonde girls at the Lodge editing videos and carrying fancy cameras, so he thinks he can offer some help. He would be willing to learn how to skate, for sure, and maybe once he gets his permit he could save up for a bike, but right now he just wants to hang, make Kepler friends, and maybe get away from the high and mighty atmosphere of the academy.

Hollis is a mess. Strawberries and whip cream are splattered on the bar, the floor, and sticky juice is dripping from the upturned bowl on Ronnie’s head. Ronnie’s face is a deep shade of red and Hollis stares at the angriest person they have ever seen. 

“I don’t- I don’t know how that happened.” Bee starts, and frantically everyone starts to apologize, both advancing towards them and tentatively pulling away, a kind of dance to gauge their response.

Ronnie clears their throat, and says all too stiffly, “Keith? A Napkin please?”

“Sure, sure, uh..” He fumbles a little, and there are four hands pushing cloths in their direction before Keith finds it. They accept, and carefully remove the bowl from their head, trying to save their hair as much as possible. 

“I am going to take a shower.” they tug at their sweatshirt hem, a nervous habit that works better when they’re wearing their jacket, but it seems to soothe them somewhat as they about-face with a snap of their heels and begin to walk upstairs.

“See now I would laugh that off.” Keith half-whispers after Ronnie’s out of sight.

“Yeah, same, you gotta know the risks of throwing food before you join in.” Bee motions to herself, whipped cream and chocolate staining her pajama shirt.

“I mean, they haven’t been here very long, maybe they’re still warming up to us?” Bow is picking up plates, moving towards the sink.

“I don’t trust that, how do we know it’s gonna get better?” Keith stands, and looks towards Hollis.

“Guys,” They sound a little confused? Disappointed? They slam their palms flat on the counter. “Come on, we’ve never been the kind to exclude people.”

“Except cishets!” Bee yells.

“Fucking-- I’m in the middle of a sentence!!”

“FUCK CISHETS! Okay, sorry, had to get that out of my system. Carry on, Hollis.”

With a deep sigh, they continue. “We don’t turn people away, or tell them they’re not enough. We’re supposed to be safe, a home for these folks, just some kids fucking around in the woods.”

“Fair.”

“Yeah.”

“But-” Keith starts.

“No Keith, no buts, we treat Ronnie like family.”

“Guys?” Bow’s eyes snap to the window.

“What?”

“Does… Who has keys to Keith’s bike?”

Keith slaps his pockets, “I’ve got them, only set, right here.”

“Then who’s that?”

There’s a blur of green, pink, and black as they all hear a vroom and the bike launches into the forest.

Spoon was… out of their depth. He really did fully intend to walk right up to the doors, and deliver his planned out speech. He wanted to be normal, presentable, professional, even. He wanted to make himself seem like a good member of the gang, like he was worth taking a chance on. But, when he got there, and started looking through the windows, he got flustered. They looked so much like a family, eating breakfast together on a bright warm morning, laughing and flinging strawberries from their spoons at each other. His heart couldn’t take it, he wanted to be in that room so bad, making memories, having friends, a home.

He almost got caught, when one of them turned to start walking up the stairs. He was sure that they saw him crouching outside. They were beautiful, really all of them were, and he panicked even more just taking them in. It looked like an argument? But one he would be willing to have. All siblings fight sometimes, right? Oh gosh they look so kind. They are all so pretty, and they look like they respect each other. They are smiling even as they have a discussion. Goodness he wants to be in the gang so bad he doesn’t even know how to get their attention. Uuuhhh.

It’s not a good idea, but what if he… just sat on this bike? He tells himself he won’t start it or anything, he’s just going to sit here, see how it feels.

He slides onto the seat, grips the handlebars. He could get used to this. He can imagine the wind in his hair, the moonlight on his face, long drives, late nights. On the dashboard, a green light glows, he pokes at the ignition, there’s no keys in it. He doesn’t know a lot about motorcycles but the green light usually doesn’t come on unless it’s started. He grabs his lockpicking kit from his bag. He hasn’t ever used it but it seems like the kind of thing someone who’s about to join a gang should have. The smallest wrench looks like it’ll just fit in the ignition… And the bike roars to life. SHOOT! That was loud, the hornets for sure heard him.

“Here goes?” he squeezes a handle, and stomps down on something, and he’s going, weaving through trees and over grass. 

Keith is yelling profanities and running to the door. 

“RONNIE!!” Hollis shouts “GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE!!”

Bee and Bow both have their cameras, and they all are rushing after the bike and whatever just happened.

They find the kid, goofy-looking and spaced out, as they sit next to Keith’s absolutely wrecked bike.

“What in the everloving FUCK?!” Keith speaks first. “Do you have shit for brains? Huh? Who are you even and what are you doing here and what the FUCK possessed you to take my bike?”

“Um…” goshdarnit spoon you gotta say something come on…

Hollis takes a hold of the front of their sweater, their fist tight around the fabric, making his chest itch as they shove him against a tree. They’re really close together now, and Spoon is overwhelmed. The thought ‘biker pretty….’ is not far away from his lips when he realizes Hollis had asked a question.

“How ‘bout it kid? You have some explaining to do, I’d say.”

I’m sorry, I know, please let me join your gang? The words stumble over themselves in his mouth as he flinches away, turning his face towards the wrecked bike once again

What he actually says is “I know, join me? Me gang?”

At this point, everyone becomes aware of a low squeaking noise. Ronnie has caught up with them, hair thrown in a messy ponytail and hastily dressed, and is laughing. They’re laughing so hard it’s barely even laughter, it's just noise escaping from their open mouth, eyes leaking hot tears as they bend over and very awkwardly fall to the ground. Bee had been giggling too, from behind her camera, but Ronnie is absolutely done for, curled in a tight ball and shaking with hysterical laughter. They might not even be breathing,

Hollis looks at them, a tragic mess of a joyful human, and looks back to the scrawny kid.

“Wanna be a hornet?”

Spoon nods desperately.

“HOLLIS!” Keith begins to protest, but Hollis shoots him a look, and sets Spoon down, jerking his shoulders so the two face each other.

“First, say sorry to Keith.”

“Sorry, Keith.”

“Good. Now”, They brush a stray twig out of his hair. “One, you’re gonna pay us back for that bike, and two, you’re on a trial run for a little bit, if you can get through without another slip up, we’ll put it to a vote. Sound fair?”

“Yes sir.”

“Three, don’t call me that, Hollis is fine.”

“Okay, Hollis.” The kid is grinning from ear to ear.

“Ronnie? Do you need help?” They’re sat up now, arms wrapped around their stomach, still laughing. They take Hollis’ hand and stand up, muttering “thanks” through their tears.

“That’s the first time I’ve seen you laugh.”

“The first time I've felt like laughing.”

“Good thing we’re keeping the kid then, right?”

“I’m sure it is.” They turn and offer a hand to Spoon.

“Ronnie Rumble. You are?”

“Aug- Spoon.”

“Spoon?”

he silently thanks god that they’re ignoring his slip

“Yep!”

“Welcome.” This is Bee and Bow, You know Keith.”

“Yeah, sorry again.”

Keith sighs and shakes his hand. “Don’t worry about it, kid.”

Hollis claps. “Alright folks, back to the bar?”

“Let’s go! Bee cheers and falls in line with Spoon as they walk, asking a dozen questions about school, his hair, his favorite colors, does he paint his nails, and

“Let the kid breathe, Bee.” Ronnie smiles over their shoulder. 

“Pronouns, Spoon?”

He’s never been asked before, and the euphoria he feels? Spoon has a home, a family, he tries not to let himself get too excited as he answers:

“He/They, I think.”

“Cool.”

“Valid.”

“Nice, dude!”

“Last one back has to clean the kitchen!” Bow shouts as she takes off running.

“That’s not how this works! It’s y’all’s mess!” but Ronnie is running too.

They’re all racing back to the bar, back home, with each other, this scrappy gang of kids who chose each other over everything else, who chose family, who made a new home for themselves. 

Spoon breaks into a sprint, eyes wide and heart full. He knows this is special, he’s found something good, something worth keeping. He’s going to stay in Kepler for a long, long time.


	19. Prompt: Bad Day

**Bad Day**

It’s Wednesday. His last class on Wednesday is outdoors, it’s some kind of enrichment thing, trying to make the kids get in tune with nature? Or maybe just to appease parents that their wonderful little angel students are seeing all of the natural beauty in West Virginia. Usually, Spoon would be content to look for bugs or just sit in the grass with Lydia to talk. Usually, he can scrounge up some sad attempt at conversation, small talk. A few times, they’ve actually made her laugh. A novel occurrence. 

Today, he darts quickly into the forest the second the bell rings. As long as he’s back in the dorms before curfew, they can’t write him up for anything. Today is Wednesday, but also a hornets day.

The walk is long, but it’s worth it. He could have called someone to pick him up, but he wants to surprise his friends. He hums a little and bounces through the trees, swinging his arms and making sure to greet all the little critters he sees. The sky is blue and warm overhead, and the sun feels amazing. It’s a great day, soon to be made better.

The scent of motor oil and fried food floating from the bar is a growing comfort to him. He’s almost there, almost home, almost..

“Woah.” Hollis’ strong arm catches his chest before he can walk up the first big step to the door. They’re dressed casually, in a long grease-stained tank top and an off-white bandana lazily wrapped around their hair. They’ve been out here for a while, Spoon can tell by the sweat slowly gathering on their arms. “I would be careful in there if I were you, kid.”

“Did you burn dinner?”

“No it-”

“Did Bee blow something up?”

“It's not-”

“Did we get pranked? Was there a fire? Did someone break a window? Did Bow get taken? Are we--”   
  


“Spoon!” Hollis’ hand is on his shoulder, and they take a beat to relax their face as they speak.

“Sorry, I think I got ahead of myself. Hi, How are you?”

“I’m good, Hollis,” He straightens a little and shifts with a forced smile to make eye contact. “A little worried right now. And you?”

“I’m fucking hot. Thanks for asking.”

“Okay. now…” He gestures towards the door.

“Ronnie’s having a bad day.”

“Hm. I see. Like ‘got black lipstick on their favorite shirt’ bad or ‘Dolly’s not starting’ bad?”

“Like Rumble bad.”

His silence tells Hollis all they need to know, and the two sit down on the dust, Hollis wiping their face with the bandana.

“How much do you know about Tennessee?”

“The capital is Nashville.”

“No, I meant like Ronnie in Tennessee. They’re from there.”

“That’s about it. They don’t follow up with their parents, right? And they don’t go to that church anymore, so there’s nothing else I really ever asked.”

“Well,” They sigh. “It’s really not my story to tell. But before the Hornets, Ronnie was… a part of another group, like us, but it went south real fast. Rumble, their partner at the time, got shot by another member. Real messy shit.”

Spoon isn’t shocked, not surprised really, even. It’s not fear or anger that grips him as he hears this, maybe it’s sadness? He feels heavy as a kind of sympathetic grief makes its way into his head. He begins to analyze everything they’ve ever said, re-contextualizing it. Profound sorrow, something unlike whatever he’s felt before. He can’t imagine, he doesn’t want to imagine. His best friend, having this loss, they don’t deserve it.

“So Ronnie Rumble.”

“A stage name of sorts. To keep him close.”

“And today is?”

“Two years. I had to pry that one out of them.”

“So, bad day.”

“Bad day.”

“Shouldn’t I at least try to talk with them?”

“Try whatever you want, kid. I couldn’t handle getting snapped at, that’s all I know.”

Hollis has been consistently more sensitive than Spoon, or maybe they’re just more uncomfortable with confrontation. Spoon was raised with the best of ‘em, born onto a real life minefield of emotions and half-insults, so he can take as well as dish out. Today, he can handle being snapped at a little. For Ronnie, at least. He stands, throwing two fingers in a sarcastic salute, and pushes open the door.

It’s dark, and pretty quiet, but he can tell approximately where Ronnie is by the buzzing of headphones and a steady tap-tap-tapping.

When he sees them, it’s just like he imagined from the sound. Their fingers are drumming hard on the table in front of them. It looks almost painful, they’re hunched over, shoulders practically up against their ears, a tight ball of energy only moving it’s fingers. He knocks on the doorframe, hoping to cause a noise they can hear.

They jump a little in their chair, flinging their headphones and turning back to face him, they relax as they see him.

“Oh, hey kid.”

“Hey Ronnie, you okay?”

“I mean, yeah. I’m trucking along.” They place their headphones gently on the table, patting them as if to apologize, and push their glasses up their nose with a sniff. “Why, did Hollis tell you I was being a crazy bitch?”

“No, just said you were feeling down.”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

He sits on the floor next to them, looking up at their tear-stained face. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Maybe, but not right now. What’s going on with you?” They check their phone for the time, “Why aren’t you in class?”

“It’s Wednesday.”

“Last I checked, Wednesday is still a school day.”

“I’ve got outdoor class last on Wednesdays, decided to ditch and walk over here.”

“And you’re not gonna get caught?”

“What are they gonna do?”

He’s being an impossible little shit, and Ronnie holds up their hands in a kind of surrender.

“Your funeral.”

“Aren’t you glad to see me? Your favorite sweetheart baby boy?”

“Always glad to see you kid, I would be more glad if you weren’t at risk of getting shipped out of state.”

“Nah. I’ve got Mr. and Mrs. Whitemire convinced that the Virginia air is doing me good. They’d be crazy to take me out of the academy now.”

“Hm, and how are the Whitemires?” A grin starts to make its way back onto Ronnie’s face,”Have they called you about that charge on your card?”

“Not yet. It seems our mall trip was small enough to go unnoticed.”

“Good. You still like everything we got? No one’s giving you shit?”

“I haven’t heard anything.”

“And?”

“And even if I did I wouldn’t take it.” Spoon repeats a lesson he’s been learning dutifully, and Ronnie laughs a little.

“There we go, I’m teaching you well.”

“I’m sure you learned from someone good too.” 

“I sure did. One of the best men I ever knew.”

“Tell me about him?”

“Hm…”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to! I just meant that..”

“No, no you’re good, I’m just trying to think of a story you’ll enjoy. Did I ever tell you the one about the electric fence and the old donkey?”

“No!” Tell me more!” Spoon grabs a pillow and brings his knees closer to his chest. He needs to hear the story just as much as Ronnie needs to tell it, and he’ll be here for them for as long as they need.

Ronnie cries before the story is over, first with laughter, then getting emotional about the way Rumble chided them for being so stupid. Spoon listens, laughs along, and even sheds a few tears. They are together for that long night, and he may have missed the academy’s curfew, but it was worth it. It was a hornets day, and the hornets needed him.


	20. Prompt: Winter

**Winter**

With the winter fast approaching, everyone seems to be on edge. Cold weather makes everyone a little snippy, and there’s no amount of hot soup in the world that will coax Ronnie outside. Bow has never been prepared for the winter, or had money for the proper clothes, so her shiny new coat that Hollis got her has been part of many adventures already, as she jumps from snowpile to snowpile, and tries to go skiing with every combination of hornets and school friends that she can. Bee is happy either way, but she knows something is coming. Either that or she’s about to start problems herself out of boredom.

Hollis is just run ragged, the work of being a ‘parent’ next to candlenights next to the regular hornet stuff is a lot. They’re just trying to nail down everyone’s schedules and make sure they can have one family night before they leave.

Maybe that’s it, the unspoken pressure, the hornets all know that some of them will be leaving. Spoon has to go home to his parents, the academy is closing. Ronnie’s never spent a winter in Kepler, but Hollis assumes that they’ll pack up and go back to Tennessee. Kepler in the winter seems like the kind of place they’d despise, too slow. Bee will stay here for the most part, but she might hop around to a few friend’s places, go to whatever bonfires or candlenights parties will be the wildest. Either way, the hornet’s nest is gonna be empty for a few weeks, and there’s a tension in the air.

When Spoon leaves, he cries, and spends way too long in front of the bar, saying his goodbyes one by one. His parents won’t be here for about an hour yet, but they’re going straight to the academy, no way is he telling them about the hornets, or how he’s been spending his allowance these past few months. So, when he’s all packed up, he comes to drop off a duffel bag of his favorite stuff at the nest, and that’s where they all say their goodbyes.

He gets a handshake from Keith, which is more than he expected to be honest, and Bee and Bow and Hollis all give him short hugs, respectable, and of course he squeezes them back and grins like a fool. 

Then, Ronnie, who is refusing to make eye contact and shifting their weight from side to side. He chuckles and scoops them up into a hug, and just nods when he hears 

“I’m gonna miss you so damn much” 

Coming from the mess of curls crumpled into his sweater. 

“I know, Ronnie, don’t worry.”

He holds them at arms length, and bends his knees so he can look right in their eyes.

“I’ve got your number on speed dial, and I have an extra set of keys. You couldn’t stop me from comin’ back even if you wanted to.”

“I’ll be waiting for ya.” They both laugh a little, and he decides to push his luck

“Maybe I can drive Dolly when I get back?”

“Focus on getting back first.”

And that’s it. He’s gone, six weeks in a Georgia mansion between cocktails and fancy dinners he’ll never get used to. When he unpacks, carefully hanging up the slacks, blazers, and sweaters he brought with him from school, he finds a small package at the bottom of his suitcase. Wrapped in horrendous amounts of duct tape and sparkly stickers, it's a wonder he gets it open without asking for a pair of scissors and raising suspicion. Inside, there’s a flash drive full of pictures, both candid and staged, from their promotional shoot back in November. He looks through them all and laughs, seeing some frightening angles of himself for the first time. There’s a card wishing him happy candlenights, and a little key taped to the cardstock. 

Ps. just wanted to make sure you could get home if you needed it, here’s a key to Dolly. I trust you. -RR.

**I love you, Ronnie** he texts, and the reply is immediate.

**I know you do, goodnight kid.**


	21. Prompt: Energy

**Energy.**

“He doesn’t have big dick energy.” Bow taps her fork absentmindedly against her plate of cheesecake. It’s not the weirdest thing she’s said to an otherwise quiet room, but it is pretty random.

“Well, it's not small dick energy either.” Luckily, Bee picks up on exactly what she means, and sits down next to the other blonde with a plate of her own.

“But it is… an energy.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

“There’s some energy for sure.” Spoon pops up from behind the couch, they were trying to resist the gossip, but they were all at the lodge today, they all know what and who they were talking about.

“What do you think that means?” Bow points her fork at Spoon, and he shrugs an answer,

Bee pretends to look behind her and half whispers through a laugh:

“I bet it’s just really wide.”

“Oh! Now see, I hadn't considered thick dick energy.”

“That’s interesting,” Spoon vaults over the back of the couch and sits in between the two girls, “just a wide, wide dick scenario.” 

“Yeah, like some other, third energy.”

“Now how does that work when he’s…”

“Fucking? You wanna talk about fucking with a thick dick?”

“Well I don’t WANT to but I think we need to consider.”

A door upstairs opens suddenly, and the trio turn to look as Ronnie peels off their headphones and sighs, pressing two fingers to the sides of their nose.

“Who the fuck are y’all talking about?”

“Are you sure you wanna know, Ronnie?” Bow is gone in a fit of giggles.

“I mean I sat there listening to your bullshit for long enough I deserve to have some context. Scoot over.”

They pile on the couch, knees popping, and stretch an arm around Spoon and Bee. “Bow can’t stand herself she’s laughing too hard, one ‘a y’all tell me.”

Bee looks at Spoon, and he claps a hand over his wide smile before admitting.

“Agent Stern.”

And instantly Ronnie is invested

“He has the shortest dick energy in all of West Virginia what do you mean??!”

The debate continues for hours, and another cheesecake is gone before Hollis gets home. The night quickly descends into the best kind of sleepover, one born from necessity, because they all couldn’t imagine going into the cold without each other.


	22. Prompt: Skate

**Skate.**

God, they haven’t skated in weeks. They haven’t been alone for a session for much, much longer. Ronnie has based their whole day around this, making time to get dressed, put on their old pads, the worn ones that really bend with them, (The new ones Bee embroidered are nice, and they’ll break ‘em in in time, but today they need old, they need stability.), and go skate on the Hornet’s ramps. They’re the first ones up, grabbing an orange off the counter. As they peel it, they study the calendar Spoon has written their school schedule over. He doesn’t have any big events coming up, so maybe they’ll be over more often this week. Ronnie draws a heart around today’s date, and leaves with a flourish, their curls bouncing on their shoulders and blowing gently in the morning wind.

These shoes feel good, and their board is light as ever. This is where they are meant to be, this is home. 

The wooden ramps will never compare to the big sleek concrete ones in Tennessee, but they have so many more good memories in them, they saw so many more of Ronnie’s laugh, Spoon’s little wobbly victory dances, Bee’s stickers, Bow’s fears being slowly overcome. Weirdly, they think they’ve grown more here than in Tennessee, after years of working towards something that never paid off, they finally had time to flourish.

With that thought, they tip slowly over the edge, nice, easy arcs as they catch their breath.

Maybe that’s what this was all about, decompressing, realizing how much they had left to grow.

“Ronnie, you’re so traumatized I sometimes forget you’re real.” Spoon’s voice rings in their head, they didn’t mean it badly, and it was funny.

They let it go. Slow arcs, the board click-clacks over grooves in the wood.

“You’re such an idiot.”

“How did you not know about Sylvain?”

“Why would I trust you?”

“Please, say something.”

_ Hollis.  _ That one hurt. They told them they loved them a few days ago. Ronnie’s been sitting on that.

They all melt away, they can practically feel the words wicking off the leather as their board comes up, around, and down in perfect fluid motions.

With one last exhale, they bend their knees on the way up and..

  
  


LAND a 360!! hell yeah.

One more?

LANDED!

It’s a good day now, they officially feel powerful and strong. Ready for whatever else people have to say.


	23. Prompt: Sorry

**Sorry.**

Today had been a nice day, Spoon drove around in the parking lot for a while and then Hollis took everyone shopping a few towns over. It was fine. He felt fine, but the second he opened the door to his room, tossing his sack of clothes down onto the bed, he starts to feel off.

First, everything is too loud, and it's like his vision is expanding, trying to take in more of the room. There’s nothing there though, he sees everything. It’s him and this old mattress and a ceramic frog on his dresser. There’s no danger here. What’s going on?

As his breath starts to quicken, he fumbles with the doorknob. He needs fresh air, any air, he needs out, he can't--

They lock themself in the bathroom. It takes too long for them to register the thumping coming from the other side of the door and suddenly Bee is in the room, she tries to shut the door behind her, but the busted knob just kind of pathetically clicks in its frame.

“Hey bud, you freaking out?”

“Yeah, I guess I am. Heh, Sorry. Um.” He gulps hard and shakes his hands before interlacing his fingers behind his neck. “It’s not, normally like this? I, Um… I can usually kind of push,” Bee’s hand on his shoulders force him to squat, and he exhales as he goes low to the ground “ah, push past it. Normally I just feel.. More focused, kind of heightened, but this is, ooh! This is new.”

Hands on their knees, and hair in his eyes, they whip their head up to look at Bee, she looks kind, smiling encouragingly as she stoops low next to him.

“Yeah bud, sounds like a panic attack. Here.” She puts a palm on his chest and pushes him so he’s sitting, cold tile on the seat of his jeans. “Let’s not talk for a couple seconds, you just work on breathing, okay? Yeah, like that. There you go.”

At some point, she hands him a wet washcloth, he accepts, pressing it against his eyes eagerly. 

“Thank you. That helps.”

“Yeah, no problem.” she lets her head rest fall back against the wall, stretching out her legs so they form a T with Spoon’s. “I’ve been there before. I used to freak out like this too, back when.. You know.”

“Yeah. I do. But like, you had a legitimate reason? I just got fuzzy all of a sudden. Really really scared, out of nowhere.”

“That’s okay! You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, you don’t need to justify yourself to me. Okay?”

“Okay. thank you.”

“Anytime.”


	24. Prompt: Nature

**Nature.**

Spoon can’t explain it but he has… suspicions. Everyone they’ve told so far has written them off, even Bee, which is uncharacteristic. He knows that he’s right, he is fully convicted. He can’t really justify it well but.

He thinks Paz isn’t human. 

Listen, something about her is strange, other worldly even. For a while Spoon convinced himself that she was just attractive. Don’t they think all women are mystical? But there’s something about Paz. She’s too quick, a little too nimble. Spoon has seen her climb trees faster than Ronnie without mussing her satin skirt. She’s too sensitive to noise, and trust me, Spoon knows what it’s like to be sensitive to noise, but Paz seems to pick up sounds from miles away, and hear whispers that shouldn’t have traveled far at all.

He tried to ignore it, especially after Jake Coolice of all people told him he was off his rocker. Jake isn’t one to be provoked. But, he keeps coming back to it. Somehow, she’s just not human.

Maybe if he catches her off-guard she’ll admit to something, He gets her alone after karaoke night.

“I know what you are.”

“You do?” her smile is too damn bright and her eyes glow green. Suddenly he’s unsure.

“Uh-huh. I know you’re not human.”

“Clever enby. How’d you figure that one out?”

“The other day, when you jumped into the window frame, it was too perfect. You’re too perfect.”

“Sweet Spoon.” She cups his cheek in her hand, pushing one finger up behind his ear so she can lean in as she whispers. “You really are too kind.”

He’s melted, knees weak and forehead sweaty, blushing and desperately repeating to himself that she has a boyfriend. Not that he would do anything even if she was single, he just can’t afford the extra emotions right now. Then, she leaves, heels clicking on the concrete floor.

It takes a while before they see each other again, but that’s not unusual. Paz often disappears for stretches of time, one more thing to be wary of. He finds her deep in the forest, as they walk from the academy to the nest. She is lounging on a sturdy branch reading, dark brown curls cascading down among the verdant leaves. 

“Hey Paz!” They’ve scared her, she jumps very obviously as she whips her head around.

“Oh, hello Spoon! How do you do?”

“Well, thank you. You got any plans for halloween? What’s your costume?”

“I’ll be going as a cat, of course dear!” She laughs as she gracefully leaps from the tree, landing with impossibly soft feet and a perfect arch. “Now, run along. I’m sure the hornets are expecting you.”

He obeys, oddly compelled to. He turns quickly away from her, and they part ways.

Come Halloween night, He is looking for Paz everywhere. It’s dizzying, really, how many people wear all black and cat ears? Surely she’d have a better costume than that. 

Then, he spots her, and gasps.

She meant an actual cat!

They were right! All his suspicions are confirmed as they run to the fluffy orange cat sitting pretty at the end of the driveway. Its eyes glow a fierce green and it looks at him with a sort of sly wisdom.

“Hi Paz.” He ventures, and sticks out a hand for it to nuzzle into. “Fucking petty of you, really.”

He sits whispering to the cat for a while. It flicks its tail and eventually lays in their lap. Spoon can hear the sounds of the party inside, but they would rather have this.

“Spoon darling!” Paz calls from behind him. “Do come inside!”

He looks, and she is stunning, a lavender catsuit and realistic furry ears clipped on her head. She looks extravagant, mysterious as ever. 

  
  


He’s shocked. He looks from the cat to her to the cat again.

“I thought-”

“What dear?”

“I-”

“Poor thing.” She smiles,“You’re so frightened! Come bob for apples, that will lift your spirits.”

The cat is gone from his lap.

He has his suspicions, he cannot explain it, but something happened tonight.


	25. Prompt: Picnic

**Picnic.**

Lydia’s the good one. Always has been. Her father was married before he met her mother, and the children from that marriage are all under-achievers. They went to state schools and prefer to live comfortably, out of reach from their father. Because of this, Lydia feels pressure. She’s the good one. She has to be.

When she moves to West Virginia of all places, it feels like a punishment. Why are her parents shipping her off? Was it something she did? The boys here aren’t any help, most of them behave like they were shipped here, like no one cares for or looks after them.

Slowly, she grows accustomed to a few of them, and stops caring so much. She wears her hair down sometimes, and begins to let her shirttails dangle untucked from her uniform skirt.

It’s not the most revolutionary thing, but it’s comforting, in some small way. She feels like she’s finding herself. She feels safe.

Her favorite place is the old courtyard, she could spend days soaking up the sun. The garden back home is so depressing, she never could focus there.

One day, she wanders further past the courtyard, enticed by the thought of seeing the sun peak through the canopy of trees. She’s ahead on her assignments, what could be the harm?

As she walks she imagines herself in a movie scene, picking flowers and swinging her hands wildly at her sides. The noises on the wind are comfortable, calming. 

She arrives at a clearing that looks heavenly, and sits down her tote to read for a while.

It’s a lovely story, ancient men finding their doom and leaving countless others behind. It’s soothing, knowing that people will always be headstrong, always die for pride.

She must have read for too long, suddenly, the wind is cold and the sounds from the woods are not so friendly.

“Get out!” she hears in a whisper, and she’s running. Leaving her book to whatever monster devours it.

“GET OUT!” the voice follows her, growing louder, she’s going as quickly as she can.

“OUT!!”

When she finally gets back to her dorm, immediately locking the door behind her, she begins to cry softly.

She thought she was good here, she thought she was safe. 


	26. Prompt: Deja Vu

**Deja Vu.**

Augustus believes her. Well, she should start referring to them as Spoon, she guesses, but it just seems indecent. Still, he means well, and offers to help.

“Shit alright, well I have some friends, they should know what to do. They live kinda far, and walking seems like not a good choice right now but if you wanna wait till morning.”

“Let’s steal a golf cart.”

“What?!” Lydia is the last person they expected to hear that from.

“I mean, it’s cold and dark, there’s a wolf or something out there, I would like to, if at all possible, go now.”

“Okay, sure, yeah let’s…. Let’s go”

Deja vu is gonna be a big one for him tonight, huh?


	27. Prompt: Lie

**Lie.**

They show up to the hornets nest looking ragged as ever. Lydia’s shirt is torn, and the golf cart they stole is halfway in the ditch outside. 

“Hey Au-Spoon?”

“Yeah?”

“Could you maybe take the lead?”

“What do you mean?”

“These friends of yours” suddenly she’s noticing how dirty everything at the bar looks, “You know them better than I do… could we say that you were the one that saw something, that I’m here for emotional support?”

He doesn’t want to, that sounds like trouble, but Bee would do the same for him.

“Sure.”


	28. Prompt: Run

**Run.**

“I saw a fucking werewolf.” he says finally, and Ronnie doesn’t say anything.

“You’re just fucking horny.” Hollis calls from the other room. “You wish you saw a werewolf”

“Not fucking helping, Hollis! Spoon’s actually freaking out right now.”

“Listen to you guys, all fuckity fuck fucking!” Bow seems to appear from nowhere, causing Ronnie to mutter “Jesus!” under their breath.

“Okay.” They say, grabbing Spoon’s gloved hand in their own. “With me, come on”

They ride out to the spot where Lydia saw it. Spoon gives approximate directions. When they get there, Dolly screeching to a halt, the sight of Lydia’s discarded tote makes Ronnie pause.

They pull Spoon aside “So.. what’s the deal? You got yourself a girlfriend?”

“What? No!”

“I’m not blind kid, her shirt is ripped as she hasn’t stopped blushing since y’all got here. Were you necking out here when you got spooked?”

“Fuck off Ronnie, No. Listen, I wasn’t even here, Lydia is just afraid to admit she was alone when she got ran off.”

“Keep your secrets.” They wink and Spoon makes a mental note to punch them or something.

“See anything familiar?” They ask loud enough for both Spoon and Lydia to hear. She shakes her head slightly, and makes eye contact with him. 

“Uh, no, not really. Could we maybe stay for a bit and listen?”

“Sure, bud.”

Their phone starts ringing, Ronnie answers with a confused “Yeah?” Their eyes grow wide as they toss their keys to Spoon and mouth

“Run.”


	29. Prompt: Swear

**Swear.**

Mama says it best when they get to the lodge.

“This is a shit show. Y’all didn’t need to find out this way.”

Everything changes in an instant. Suddenly, there are other worlds, other races, other people that they didn’t know existed, right under their noses?

Ronnie considers leaving again, taking Bow and running. They’ll find someplace better, safer, they did it once, they can do it again.

Spoon cries, first because he’s scared and then just imagining the pain that Sylvain feels. He wants to hug Paz very badly now, even more than before.

Lydia is struggling. She can’t handle the weight of everything, they can’t expect her to help with this pine guard, can they?

After cups and cups of coffee, they all grow somber, and Mama pokes a finger in Ronnie’s chest.

“Tell. No. One.”

“Not a soul.” They swear with everything they have, not knowing how much they’ll regret it.


	30. Prompt: Home

**Home.**

**(this is several years later)**

“What would it take to make this place not feel like home anymore?”

He’s heard that line somewhere, a floating song lyric or some line of poetry. Maybe it was something he learned in Latin, for an old professor, for some weird bonus project.

Now, as he looks in the windows of the bar that was once the Hornet’s nest, Spoon still isn't sure what his answer is.

This hasn’t been his home for a while, but it feels like it, deep down, somewhere in between the shame and grief, he has warm memories of this place, and it was his home. 

He joked about leaving too many times, yelling over his shoulder that Ronnie made him want to go back to the academy, back to his parents. After he found out that Agent Stern and Barclay were dating, he only half jokingly packed a small bag, declaring that he needed space from bootlickers.

Once, he ran away, after Bow had gotten spooked that an old family had found her. He didn’t even think twice, taking her hand and following the highway out of town. That was a long couple of nights, and Ronnie and Hollis looked like pure shit when they finally caught up with them, he vowed never to make Ronnie cry like that again, the hot angry tears they tried to disguise and they held him in a parking lot in the middle of nowhere.

He never really wanted to leave, though. And the hornets always took him back with a smile and an outstretched hand, sometimes holding a band-aid or two. He spent many nights beaming, thanking the universe and everything in it that he had found this place, that he had found his home.

Now, it's bittersweet, the dust on the floor covers colorful stickers, evidence of the life that they had. It feels wrong, he’s been gone for too long, and this isn’t his home anymore. 


	31. Prompt: Loud

**Loud.**

Usually, Ronnie can appreciate the silence, but right now, they’d give anything for one more loud afternoon.

They have enough memories of Kepler’s trees and sky at sunset, enough hyper-focused moments of Hollis’ smile and Spoon’s eyes. They know every smell that wafts through the lodge on lazy sundays while the pine guard patches themselves up from another fight. Now, they’re ready for the chaos.

Give them back the loud afternoons, the ones where popcorn litters the floor and the screaming of old 2000s pop lyrics drowns out the rumbling of old motorcycles and the crashing of broken glass. They want so desperately to hear the other hornet’s voices in the middle of some drunken rant while they sit against the wall just listening, in awe of everything, remembering, and willing themself to burn this moment into their mind.

Maybe that was the problem, they were never involved enough, Ronnie remembers everything that surrounded them from day to day but does anyone remember them? Were they so in their own little world, filled with grief and loss and anxiety that everyone else forgot to cast them as a main character in their memories? What does it take to be immortalized as one of the hornets? What will Kepler think back on when they see this old bar?

They swing their keys idly, looking through the windows with a slight smile. This isn’t their home anymore, and that’s alright; they’ve been known to be a restless soul.

Just as they turn to leave, there’s a flash of blue hair in the corner of their vision. Ronnie doesn’t even have time to register the figure before they stumble back under the weight of whatever just ran into them.

“RONNIE!” it’s a deeper voice, but still full of childish glee, as they step back from each other, Ronnie looks at Spoon and tears instantly prick in their eyes. They look so much older now, and long hair suits them. They look strong, healthy, like they belong somewhere, like a man who’s finally found a purpose, something of a home.

“Spoon?, How ya doin’, kid?” They laugh and stick out a bandaged hand as a greeting, and laugh a little at the sense of deja vu.

“I’m doing real good Ronnie, yourself?”

“I’m getting by, been bouncing around Tennessee and Arkansas.”

“What’s in Arkansas?”

  
  
“Friends, old friends, some new. We have a kind of a community garden thing going and we jar and sell what we won’t use.”

“You guys got one of those pressurized? Uh, what do you call it--”   
  


“The canners with the hydraulics? Yeah. Damn. We sound like adults, huh?”

“The very worst kind.” They had forgotten how much his smile meant. Even after all these years. Spoon rubs his neck nervously, “You wanna go inside? Or we could just walk for a bit, go see the lodge.”

“I’d like that. Let’s take a stroll.” They goofily put their arm in his as he leans down for dramatic effect, always one to point out their height difference. 

“Let’s go see the old stomping grounds.”

“Nothing ever changes in this town.”

And they both laugh. It’s false, but it’s comforting to believe.


End file.
